You are finished, now, as if you had not ever been made. Cardigan: Sarn't Major, it is better that you take a ball and put it in your own brain. After twenty years of coming up from private trooper.keeping off the pongelow.not a drop since corporal. TSM Corbett: My lord- My lord, to be asked to take up the spy- I am much distressed to be asked such a thing, my lord. TSM Corbett: I shall spy, my lord? Cardigan: You shall. You are to take note of whatever he might say and bring the information to me. Cardigan: I want a report, a report of any conversation Captain Nolan has with other officers. Featherstonehaugh: Apologize! Nolan: If I am in error- Cardigan: Error? Don't quibble with me, sir! Beer! I will not have beer drunk in my mess! Come back, Nolan! Nolan, you will not leave the mess! I am not finished with you!! Cardigan: Dog! Devil upstart! Impertinent Indian dog-devil! What he said- Nolan: It is not porter, it is Moselle, my lord. Featherstonehaugh: What His Lordship said was that champagne only was to be dwunk in the mess tonight. Nolan: I assure you, my lord- Cardigan: That is a black bottle and you are drinking porter from it! Captain Featherstonehaugh: Champagne only! Russell: In point of fact, I asked Captain Nolan if- Featherstonehaugh: You knew that! Nolan: I am not aware- Cardigan: I am aware you are drinking porter at my table! Featherstonehaugh: Sit down, Captain Nolan! Nolan: Sit down, Featherstonehaugh. Cardigan: Don't you "no" me! That is a black bottle. Lord Cardigan: You are drinking beer, sir, porter beer! Nolan: No, my lord. Mogg: He and Hi are not hable to buy our advancement, we have to hobtain it by our habilities! Officer: With a little breeding, an Englishman can buy his advancement. Officer: What colour is the Russian enemy? Riding-master Mogg: Sneaky colour. Cardigan: What is it? Featherstonehaugh: What it tells Cornet Codrington, my lord, is that, as youngest officer, you will expect him to eat as a wabbit does, only lettuce! And it's signed by you, my lord! Cardigan: Green boy! Such a green boy! You have been drawn! Not my order you should eat lettuce, though perhaps it will put sap in your pizzle! I am eating lettuce, I have eaten lettuce. I halways tells them they'll know their front from the many black nigger faces waving knives at 'em! Lord Cardigan: Are you costive, young man? Codrington: I have your orders, my lord, to be here and eat lettuce. They'll never find their front when there hisn't a black face to it. Riding-master Mogg: It's like a foreign language to them! They don't know hany direction, back or front. Lord Cardigan: All this swish and tit gets my sniffing nose up! I shall have to fetch it off, tonight, Squire, had me Cherrybums out today, always makes me randified! At times, I am so pent up with their languour that I could scruff hold of any two of them and bang their noddles together until their doodles drop off! If one is a stupid, inconsiderate and lazy man, one can fit as a round peg in a snug round hole. They 'ardly never wobble.Ĭaptain Nolan: There is no place happier than a cavalry mess. What you sergeants will never seem to understand is the state of responsibility that an hofficer is in. Mogg: Ah, but there is no such thing as a wobbly hofficer. Recruits in England are mostly wobbly and ill-formed. Riding-master Mogg: What is the condition of them? TSM Corbett: They're all wobbly-boned. Metcalfe: I'm a bad character, just out of gaol! TSM Corbett: In that case, you've already served Her Majesty! Lord Cardigan's Cherrybums - follow me! TSM Corbett: I thought you had, by the fine way you carry yourself. Are you respectable? Mitchell: I've often thought of enlisting. Out mounts is mastered and mannered, gentle in ride.calm in battle, and our officers just whisper, they being of the opinion, like to myself, that more can be done glorious by leading from the front than can ever be brought off by prods up the arse from the rear! Hold your head up, sir! I believe you would look a rare treat in stable dress. God bless him! Our dress is bright and warm. Ah! And escort to Prince Albert on the occasion of his wedding, after which he called us His Own. Good! If they can't fornicate, they can't fight, and if they don’t fight hard, I'll flog their backs raw, for all their fine looks! A master cutler sharps their swords, and I keep 'em tight-stitched, cut to a shadow. Ten thousand a year out of me own pocket I spend to clothe 'em. I am Lord Cardigan, that is what! Them Cherrybums, you see 'em tight, my Cherrybums, I keep 'em tight. No damn business of anyone, what is what. That grand heroic moment - The Charge of the Light Brigade! ( taglines) Dialogue Lord Cardigan: I do not propose to recount my life in any detail, what is what.
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